Archer Wiki
Archer Wiki

Lana being made fun of for her supposedly big and strong hands is a running gag on Archer.


  • In Diversity Hire (s1e3), first of many references to the size and strength of Lana's hands. After she cold-cocks Cyril, he mentions her "big, Flintstoney fists". As Conway Stern tries to escape via helicopter with a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist, Lana's snags the case with a spear gun and pulls Conway's hand off.
S01E04-Lana grabs Utne

You're breaking my arm!

  • In Killing Utne (s1e4), when Lana possibly breaks Utne's arm because he's caressing one of the guns she wears near her breasts. Utne says she has "Hands like the Truckasaurus" for this, and Malory says her fingers are "Johnny Benchian". Later she tightly grabs Cyril's shoulder (which causes him great pain) and threatens to break his collarbone because he says he wants a "physical" with the sexy "Needle", although it's also implied that Cyril's had a good time dating her thanks to her "mannish" hands and big fingers. After the 2 Germans kill Utne, Cheryl sarcastically asks Lana, "Is that hard to do, with those big ol' ballpark Franken-fingers?" while Lana's trying to pick the lock to Trudy Beekman's apartment.
  • In Skytanic (s1e7), Lana's shown briefly to be able to knock a bartender to the ground with an easy palm in his face. Later when Archer botches the bomb diffusal, Ray tells Lana to push the bomb off the airship with her "big-ass hands."
  • In The Rock (s1e8), during the strike, Cheryl calls Lana a "ham-fisted whore". Later, after Archer's eyes are injured because he's wearing night-vision goggles while being exposed to bright light, he tells Lana, "Carry me, Monster Hands!"
  • When Cheryl's breaking up with Dr. Krieger in Dial M for Mother (s1e10), she says it's because he has "weak womanly hands" and she needs "a man with monster hands", to which Krieger replies, "Like Lana" right when she walks in. When Cheryl calls Lana "Truckasaurus", Krieger apparently comes up with a choke robot to pleasure her.

Give her the rabbit, Lenny.

  • In Blood Test (s2e3), Trinette asks Lana to give her back the wee baby Seamus because she fears she might crush him with her big hands. Ray jokingly compares Lana holding a baby to Mike Tyson holding a dove.
  • In Movie Star (s2e7), Rona Thorne jokingly compares Lana's hands to "big, steam-shovelly scoops". Later, Lana's shown to be able to completely block Archer merely by pushing him back with her strong hands, to which Rona says, "Omigod, strong and sexy! Amaziiing!".
  • In Placebo Effect (s2e9), Archer tells one of Franny Delaney's associates he's interrogating to apologize to Lana for his "homophobic remarks" because "She's not gay, she just has big hands." Later, Lana threateningly says to Delaney's goons she's holding at gunpoint, "And one more crack about monster hands and I promise you I will shoot your fat Irish faces off!".
  • In Heart of Archness: Part III (s3e3), Lana knocks Archer out cold with one punch when she finds out he intentionally stayed on the pirate island.
  • In El Contador (s3e5), after Lana grabs on and covers his mouth, Cyril says "I thought those were Yeti hands."
  • In Drift Problem (s3e7), Lana buys an orange soda from the soda machine while Archer is asking for her help. She opens the soda with only her thumb and Archer looks shocked asking "Is that even a twist off?", Lana replies "No", followed by Archer responding with "Yikes".
  • In Lo Scandalo (s3e8), when Lana slaps him, Archer says "Your hands are like cricket bats!". Later she also tightly grabs his shoulder when he calls her a "sullen wench".
  • In Fugue and Riffs (s4e1), an amnesiac Archer calls Lana "She-Hulk", with "Hulk hands".
  • In The Wind Cries Mary (s4e2), when Cyril pretends that Lana has ditched him, Lucas Troy responds, "For what? An Entmoot? You know, cuz she's got those big-ass tree hands?".
S04E11-Lana-Krieger robot hands

Jazz hands!

  • In The Papal Chase (s4e11), after Lana rips through Malory's electromagnetic door with one hand and breaks it, Malory wonders "Did Krieger give you robot hands?", to which Krieger jumps in with actual robot hands he made for her and says "Not yet, but you just say the word".
  • In Sea Tunt: Part I (s4e12), Cecil Tunt tries to compare Lana's big, strong hand to something while she grabs his ear, but she wouldn't let him. In Sea Tunt: Part II (s4e13), when Captain Murphy asks if the crew Cecil says he's brought in is from Oprah, Cecil looks at Lana's hands and responds, "Bigger."
  • In Archer Vice: A Debt of Honor (s5e3), when Pam refuses to take a call from the Yakuza whom she scammed for amphetamine with counterfeit money, Lana grabs her shoulders and threateningly says, "I will break both of your collarbones, and then pull them out of your body, and then use them to play, in its entirety and on your head, Moby-Dick".
  • In Archer Vice: Smugglers' Blues (s5e7), when Malory's slapping Pam because she thinks she eats almost all of their cocaine, Lana jumps in and grabs Malory's wrists so tightly she can't move at all and says, "Did you use to be a man?".
  • In Archer Vice: Arrival/Departure (s5e13), when Lana finds out Archer's behind the cocaine smuggling business, she chokes him so hard he has bloodshot eyes and Cheryl gets very excited.
  • In Vision Quest (s6e5), when everyone's trapped in the elevator, the men tries to pry it open, while jokingly telling Lana she should be the one to do this. Later, when Ray tries to smoke, Lana fights and easily overcomes him with her strong hands. In the end when it's revealed that Archer redirected the emergency phone in the elevator to his voicemail, ironically, for a prank on people stuck in the elevator, all hell breaks loose and everyone fights each other; Lana, in particular, ends up choking Archer to a corner.
  • In Vision Quest (s6e10), while trying to defend Lana to Katya Kazanova, Archer makes several references to her abnormally large hands.
  • In Bel Panto: Part II (s7e7), the clown Lana fights with comments on her big hands.
  • In Waxing Gibbous (s8e6), by Cecil Vandertunt when he mistakes Lana for a transvestite.