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How to Archer cover

Cover of How to Archer

How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written is a how-to book written by Sterling Archer. It was released on January 17, 2012 in the US,[1] and on February 10, 2012 in the UK.


"Hi. I see you're reading the back of my book. This tells me that you either:

A) are hoping to find a brief summary of what to expect from a how-to book by Sterling Archer, the world's greatest secret agent, or B) don't know how books work.

If your answer was "A," your best bet is probably the table of contents, which is where you'll find the "contents" of this book listed in a convenient, easy-to-read "table" format. So maybe go check that out for a minute and then come back here. I'll wait...

Pretty cool, right? What other book will teach you how to dress properly and how to drive an elephant? How to field strip an AK-47 and how to haggle with a Thai prostitute—in her native tongue? How to pilot an airboat and how to make about a million delicious cocktails, including a Molotov one? How to kill a guy and how to prepare a fabulous brunch? Plus how to do tons of other stuff that I forgot, but that is nonetheless probably in this book (which, to be honest, I really only kinda skimmed).

So if you want to learn more about how to be more—or at all—like Sterling Archer, the world's greatest secret agent, quit smearing your greasy fingerprints all over this book and buy it. For one thing, I really need the royalties. For another thing, the last time I checked, this wasn't a damn library."


  • Foreword
  • Preface
  • Introduction

Section One: How to Spy[]

  • General Tradecraft
  • Unarmed combat
  • Weaponry
  • Gadgets
  • Stellar Navigation
  • Tactical Driving
  • Other Vehicles
  • Poison
  • Casinos
  • Surveillance
  • Interrogation
  • Interrogation Resistance
  • Escape and Evasion
  • Wilderness Survival
  • Cobras

Section Two: How to Drink[]

  • Cocktail recipes

Section Three: How to Style[]

  • Valets
  • Clothes
  • Shoes
  • Personal grooming
  • Physical Fitness

Section Four: How to Dine[]

  • Dining out
  • Dining In
  • Recipes

Section Five: How to Women[]

  • Amateurs
  • For the Ladies
  • Professionals
  • The Archer Sutra

Section Six: How to Pay for It[]

  • Personal Finance
  • Appendix A: Maps
  • Appendix B: First Aid
  • Appendix C: Archer's World Factbook
  • Afterword
  • Acknowledgements
  • Selected Bibliography
  • About the Author

About the author[]

"Sterling Archer is the world's greatest secret agent and now also probably a bestselling author. A world-class cocksman and former all-conference preparatory school lacrosse player, he divides his time among New York City, Monte Carlo, the Orient, several of the classier islands of the Caribbean, and Gstaad. This is his first book."


  1. "How to Archer" on Amazon. Retrieved December 18, 2011.