Happy Borthday
Archer s10e2 Title
Series Information
Series Archer
Season No. Season 10
Episode Information
Episode No. 2
Original Air Date June 5, 2019
Written by Adam Reed
Production Code XAR010002
Episode Navigation
Previous Bort the Garj
Next The Leftovers
Archer 1999: "Happy Borthday" is the second episode of Season 10, and the one hundred and third episode overall.



The crew provides entertainment for Bort while Barry-6 tries to crack Archer's safe.


Date: 29/06/99
Location: Garjek Moonbase

While the rest of the crew is still being imprisoned by Barry-6 and his space troops; Archer is strapped down and questioned by Barry-6 with regard to the whereabouts of his cargo, which Archer stole. Archer states it’s in the safe on the MV Seamus, which has a nuclear self-destruct that will go off when the wrong combination is entered. He is reluctant to tell Barry the right combination for the safe, since he feels he wouldn’t be negotiating from a position of power anymore. Barry brings in a zapping robotic bird named Funbeek. Barry-6 then goes back to the rest of the crew and states that as they have been rented for Bort de Garj’s Borthday Party, they will have to compete in gladiator fights. The winner will be set free and may keep the space ship.
When the gang debates who’s to fight whom, Krieger states that as a synthetic human being he can’t hurt another human being, as it would violate the first law of robotics. Cyril then decides he’s gonna fight Krieger.
Malory in her plasma-shape flies off to rescue Sterling and find a bar, while Lana decides to ‘team up’ with Cheryl and Cyril with Krieger. When Krieger asks, where this leaves Pam, Cyril mocks her by stating it leaves her as ‘the loneliest girl at the monster’s ball’. Pam then swaps with Krieger in happy anticipation of ‘cleaning [his] nuts out from between [her] toes’. Lana however decides it should be her and Cheryl and Krieger and Cyril, Pam will fight the winner. She also warns them to make the fights look real to buy them some time.
In the meantime Archer is getting his genitals zapped by Funbeek and his screams are heard all over the place. Malory however is still stuck at the bar, since the bartender is taking his time preparing her Martini. Once she has finished her drink, which she states was ‘surprisingly good’, she zaps herself into Funbeek. Barry-6 then barges in asking how it’s going, so Malory – fully controlling Funbeek from within – zaps Archer’s penis again. When he leaves, Malory wants to escape with Archer alone, leaving the rest behind, but Archer wants to rescue the rest of the crew first, to which Malory replies that they will be fine.
In the meantime Cyril cuts Krieger literally into two halves in the arena, leaving Krieger to spill all his robot milk.
On the run and hiding from the space guards, Malory says they could try and reach Ray over the radio; all the while Ray – wearing a kimono – is eating all the cake, as Malory correctly speculates. Malory insists to leave the others behind so Archer can have the ship to himself. Archer however says that Ray and Malory would still be there, plus he doesn’t want the ship badly enough for Lana to die.
Back in the arena Cheryl fights Lana for real, trying to kill her, which gives Pam a grossly stinky boner. Eventually Cyril jumps in to rescue Lana, but Pam intervenes and smashes him against a pillar.
As they fight to their deaths, Bort states this is his 3rd or 4th best birthday ever, to which Barry-6 responds that if they end up killing each other in the arena, Bort will have to pay for it. Bort doesn’t mind, as he has tons of birthday money. Archer manages to take out one gladiator and disguise as him, while Malory is supposed to get Krieger. She is reluctant and wants to leave him behind, but Archer insists to take him with them. He then enters the arena in disguise. Lana/Cheryl and Pam/Cyril call a temporary truce to fight him, but he reveals to them it’s him – and his genius master plan to rescue themselves by running for it and knocking down everybody on the way. They all hit him for this idea, but Lana agrees to that, since they have no other option. They ultimately manage to escape the arena, make it back to the ship and fly off. On the space ship, Archer tries to lighten up the group morale, but Malory mentions that it’s all Archer’sfault, since he stole something from Barry-6 and it’s still in the safe. Archer counters by telling everyone Malory touched his penis with her ‘big old nasty bird claw’, which leaves Pam with another appallingly stinky erection.


Cultural ReferencesEdit

As Malory scans one of the gladiators while Cheryl, Cyril, Lana and Pam are fighting, the scanning is similar to the terminator scanning the biker's clothes in Terminator 2.

Running Gags / CallbacksEdit


  • Dream / Reality Crossover:
    • (Dream) ... / (Reality) ...

  • Dream (Non-Reality):


  • non-cultural reference; misc information etc


  • extra details, joke techniques, themes ideas will link to another set of pages


First AppearancesEdit

Quotes"Quote Here"Edit

Archer: "So uh, listen, uh, I know things got a little heated down there and maybe we said and did some things that we wish we could take back, but I hope we can put all that behind us... "
Malory (interrupting)"Sterling stole something from Barry-6 and it's in the safe, so the whole idiotic fiasco was his fault "
(Everybody yelling at Archer)
Archer: "Mother touched my penis!"
Everybody: "Eugh!"
Archer: "Since we're playing the blame-game. So just picture mother's big old nasty bird-claw touching my cock!"


Person 1: "Quote Here"
Person 2: "Quote Here"
Person 1: "Quote Here"




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