Crackers is the dream persona of Dr. Krieger in Season 9 "Danger Island".


"Crackers is the audacious scarlet macaw who is Archer’s other sidekick. Quick with important facts or a wise-ass remark, Crackers is sure to ruffle the feathers of those who meet him. He’s just a parrot, who can talk, don’t make a big deal out of it."[1]


Crackers is a speaking bird, he is specifically a Scarlet macaw, and macaws are members of the parrot family.

  • He can be seen wearing miniature hats and clothes while participating in Archer and Pam’s schemes, like a chef's hat and apron or a tiny pilot’s cap.

Character traitsEdit

  • Speaks/talks (as opposed to mere mimicry).
  • Dislikes crows (and other birds generally).
  • Dances (reacts to music).
  • Drinks alcohol.
  • Wise crackin' smart ass.


Crackers is 
Parrot hoa2
callback to the dishevelled scarlet macaw Archer encounters in Heart of Archness: Pt II. Crackers is more vocal, however, and his plumage is in better condition than his real world precursor. Both are not native to their location: the natural habitat of the scarlet macaw is South America, ranging from Mexico to Brazil

Running GagsEdit

  • Mites He is riddled with them, apparently.
  • Other Birds Namely crows (as the crow flies), geese (other birds have bumps) and ducks are disliked.
    • He appears to dislike idioms which mention other birds. This makes him racist / birdist. He is a politically correct identity-politicking bird.  Or maybe he is just pining for parrot-based idioms?[2]  (The sense God gave geese/ducks is another parrot-free idiom).
  • Shut up bird!  Others tell him to all the time, mainly because he doesn't do it.


Provider of non-sequiturs (shipping lane), obscure references (Hendrik Hondius), and lame puns ("the pits"), Crackers is 1930s comic relief in avian form.

Cultural ReferencesEdit

  • Pirates in popular culture: there are too many references to list them all, but it is a well known cliche that pirates are often depicted with parrots.


Crackers:  "actually technically I'm a ma-caw which is actually a type of parrot so I, I'm technically a parrot actually but I mean technically I'm..."
Pam:  "rambling?"
Crackers:  "I almost died woman!"
Pam:  "I know, here [slides drink over] get some of this down ya"
Crackers:  "I mean..." [glugs down drink]


Archer:  "Hey crackers, crackers come 'ere buddy.  Ok, so listen..."
Crackers:  "Yeah, not great huh?"
Archer:  "No, no, not great"  I'm gonna do the best I can but we're gonna hit the water pretty hard, probably even flip over"
Crackers:  "uhm-huh"
Archer:  "There's a bunch of life jackets in the storage locker so i want you to get in there an hunker down - ok buddy?  Hopefully that'll cushion the impact"
Crackers: [staring in to space]  "Oh! you're talking to me?!"
Archer:  "Who else would I be talking to...?  Oh"
Crackers:  "Yeeeaahhh"
Archer:  "You can fly"
Crackers:  "Yeaaah"
Archer:  "So-ho you're out of here?"
Crackers:  "Is that weird?"
Archer:  "I mean..."
Crackers:  "Yeah obviously it's weird if you make it weird…"
Archer:  "Ok you know what?"
[Archer attacks Crackers]
Crackers: [squawks]  "Asssshole!"


Pam: Happy?
Crackers: Happy that you drink barbecue sauce?
Pam: It's basically V8.
Crackers: It's brown sugar and ketchup!


Crackers: "Yeah, try not to thrash around. It makes you sink faster"
Pam: "How would you know?"
Crackers: "Cowboy movies"


Archer: "Why would the map have pirate shit all over it?"
Crackers: "Well we are in the shipping lane"

Gallery of ImagesEdit



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