|First appearance||"Diversity Hire"|
|Voiced by||Coby Bell|
|Height||6'3" (1.90 m)|
|Weight||195 lbs (88 kg)|
A Diversity Double-Whammy|
Sammy Gayvis, Jr.
|Skills||Knives, sniper shooting, subterfuge, snappy comebacks, one-liners|
Cheryl Tunt (sexual encounter)|
Malory Archer (implied sexual encounter)
Conway Stern is a double agent who used his real identity (though acting as if it was false) to embed himself at ISIS. Malory Archer hired him to increase diversity at ISIS after he presented himself as being both black and Jewish. His voice is provided by Coby Bell.
Biography[edit | edit source]
Following the deaths of ISIS agents Pak, Mgumbe, and Hector Ruíz, Malory Archer informed the rest of the ISIS crew that they had to meet certain diversity requirements in order to get certain government privileges. Malory then introduced them to Conway Stern, noting that he was "a diversity double-whammy".
During his time at ISIS, Conway Stern managed to make friends out of Cyril Figgis and Pam Poovey by telling them they were valuable. Conway was even able to resolve the ongoing operations Frodo and Salsa. However, Lana Kane shouted that Frodo and Salsa were her operations and were incredibly complex. Conway retorts that Salsa was "two phone calls", and watches on a TV screen as a van is hit by an airstrike, resolving Frodo. Bilbo, who was present, says that they should have worn Bilbo's coat of dwarven mithril, and Conway tells Bilbo that he'll take Bilbo's word on that. When Bilbo tries to explain the joke to him, Conway shushes him.
In the ISIS locker room, Conway is being ogled at by Malory. Conway asks what he's gotten himself into. Sterling Archer points his gun at Conway's head and tells him that it better not have been his mother. Conway pulls out a knife, pins Sterling against the wall, and holds the knife to his throat. However, the towels fall down, and the two men accidentally touch penises.
On the count of three, the two men back away from each other. Sterling looks down, and Conway asks him if he sees something he likes. ... Conway retorts that this is coming from the man whose gun came with a matching purse. Sterling states that his gun has plenty of stopping power. Brett Bunsen, offscreen, tries to deny this, but Sterling shoots him. Archer says that Brett was putting his pants on, and he stopped him. Archer walks out, trying to think of an insult; Conway suggests "Sammy Gayvis, Jr.", and Archer shouts, "Damn it!"
Archer tried to file an HR complaint against Conway on the grounds that he touched Sterling's penis with his penis. However, Pam Poovey tells Archer that Brett filed a complaint against Archer for shooting him. Archer takes the folder that Pam is holding (which is actually the ISIS newsletter) and shreds it. However, the shredder does not work. Archer asks which company skimps on a shredder, and Lana states that it's probably the same company that skimps on a background check.
Lana asks Malory where she found Conway. Malory explains that Conway just appeared. When Lana tries to question Malory about Conway more, Malory angrily suspends Lana. Cyril finds Lana crying, and Lana tells him that Malory suspended her, all because she had the nerve to question "her little homeboy McJewerson". When Cyril tells Lana that she has no need to be jealous because she is no longer the only black person at ISIS, Lana angrily punches him in the eye.
Cyril goes to Conway, who treats Cyril's eye with a steak given to him by Cristal (whom he had sex with, and was given shrimp by, earlier). Cyril tells him that Cristal is weird that way; Conway states that Cristal is weird a bunch of ways (hinting at her choke-sex fetish). Cyril told Conway that Lana's insult made no sense, and Conway told Cyril that you can't go looking for the logic in racism or anti-Semitism.
Conway later calls a meeting with Malory and Sterling, where he reveals that Wilhelm Schmeck, the inventor of the Whisper Drive (a silent submarine propulsion system), is planning to betray America and sell the plans to the Cuban Naval Intelligence. Sterling will stand in as Schmeck's Cuban contact.
The operation was run from Malory's South Beach apartment, where Conway was sitting in the balcony with a sniper rifle should the worst happen. After Sterling gets the plans, Conway snipes Schmeck and gets Sterling's outfit covered in Schmeck's blood. Sterling angrily yells at Conway for getting his outfit dirty, and Conway promises that he will buy Sterling a new outfit. Sterling (who has been surrounded by a Cuban hit squad) shouts that it is too late, since the blood has soaked into the fibers. Conway snipes all of the hitmen, saving Sterling's life.
Sterling returns to his mother's condo, where he meets up with Conway, giving him the briefcase holding the plans. Conway again saves Sterling's life by killing another gang of hitmen. Sterling, extremely grateful for Conway now having saved him twice, reveals his intention to kill Conway (whom Sterling suspected was trying to marry Malory and deceive her into cutting Sterling out of her will). Conway initially brushes this revelation off, before literally stabbing Sterling in the back and taking the Whisper Drive plans to give to the Chinese. As Sterling bleeds out on the rug, Sterling asks Conway (who is preparing to take off in a helicopter) if he had sex with his mother. Conway angrily denies this.
At that moment, Lana shows up. She shoots a spear into the briefcase that is handcuffed to Conway's wrist. Due to her enormous strength because of her monster hands, she managed to rip off Conway's left hand as he narrowly escaped, clinging to the helicopter's drop rope ladder and swearing revenge.
"Legs"[edit | edit source]
At some point afterward, Dr. Algernop Krieger fitted Conway with a robotic left hand. It is shown that Conway regularly visits Krieger for repairs, as well as to chat.
Slater informs Archer and Lana that a freelance agent of the CIA is stranded in Buenos Aires and is in need of extraction. When the agent is revealed to be none other than Conway Stern, both Archer and Lana are disgusted. Slater also informs them that the Whisper Drive plans that Conway stole were fake, meaning that ISIS interrupted a CIA operation.
As Lana and Archer arrive in Buenos Ares, they begin to debate over who would be AJ's legal guardian in the event of their deaths. That argument is tabled as they make their way to the apartment where Conway is holed up. Lana begs Archer not to jeopardize their mission by attempting any kind of revenge rampage on Conway. Archer responds by kicking the apartment door down and attacking Conway. As the two struggle to the death, Lana decides to make some tea. While Archer is being choked by Conway, he wonders how Conway still has two arms before he tears the skin from his bionic arm (courtesy of Krieger, to neither Archer or Lana's surprise). Just when it appears that Conway has the advantage, Lana hits him with a kettle and tells him that he is out of sugar.
As the tension between the three dies down (and as Archer discovers firsthand that Yerba mate and Caña smoothie with a WD-40 float does not make an enjoyable cocktail), Conway informs Archer and Lana that his mission is not yet complete. He was sent to retrieve a computer file with the real identity of every CIA operative operating in Central and South America, which Argentina is threatening to sell to the Soviets. Archer and Lana are forced to help him retrieve it from the Argentinian government in order to complete their own mission.
Archer, Lana and Conway commandeer a limousine to infiltrate the building where the computer file is being kept. Their disguises don't help much, as Archer is intercepted and assaulted by the guards. Lana and Conway, being locked in the limousine, watch on helplessly. While in the car, Conway attempts to flirt with Lana before learning that she has recently had a baby. Eventually, Archer manages to overpower and subdue the guards. With the situation thoroughly "Archerized", the three make their way to the computer holding the file. During this, he learns that Lana's baby is for Archer and seems amused by this news.
Conway manages to extract the computer file he was after. His mission accomplished, he shoots Archer in the back as he explains to Lana that he planned to sell the file to the Russians all along. He had Archer and Lana assist him so he could have his own revenge for what happened to him during their last encounter. As he prepares to parachute out of the building, he assures Lana that he couldn't shoot her as well because she has a child to look after. After an unfortunate crack about baby weight, however, Lana slams the window on Conway, severing his non-bionic hand, which was conveniently holding the disc containing the file he was after. Conway is then forced to retreat, revealing that Conway Stern was, in fact, his real name.
"BloodSploosh"[edit | edit source]
Personality[edit | edit source]
Conway has an extremely quick wit, being able to come up with snappy one-liners. Conway has been shown to be incredibly nice, managing to make Cyril Figgis and Pam Poovey feel valuable, and also turning Cheryl Tunt onto him.
He also enjoys shrimp.
In spite of being duplicitous character, Conway shows a moral side as he refused to shoot Lana after he learned she had a baby even though he just shot Archer who was the baby's father. Conway even admitted while he originally planned on shooting Lana Kane for revenge, he wasn't a monster that could deprive an infant of her mother.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- He is not circumcised, suggesting he is not actually Jewish or of a different sect of Judaism that does not circumcise baby boys
- He is one of three ISIS employees (along with Rip Riley and Rodney) to walk away from the company alive prior to it being shut down.
- He has a cybernetic left hand courtesy of Dr. Krieger's experiments.
- Conway is the fourth character in the series to become a cyborg. The other three are Barry Dylan, Katya Kazanova, and Ray Gillette.
- The scene showing his cybernetic arm being activated is a reference to Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back, when the protagonist, Luke Skywalker, is fitted with a new hand.
- Conway is actually the first character in the series to use the phrase "Come on, buddy", which would be used by multiple characters later in the show, such as Boris and Ray.
- On Kreiger's website Algersoft, clicking on the 'Testimonial' tab shows a quote from a satisfied customer who had recieved a new hand. This individual has the initials CS. In 'Legs' (S4E3), there is a scene where Krieger is giving Conway a cybernetic hand. CS could stand for Conway Stern. This means that Conway could be associated with the website.
- He has lost both of his hands and leg because of Archer and Lana.
- He implies that Conway Stern may not actually be his real name, leaving it unknown what it really is.
- He appears to have a rivalry with Pam over something.
Appearances[edit | edit source]
|Appearances for Conway Stern|
Gallery[edit | edit source]
There are 12 images of Conway Stern on this Wiki, visit the Conway Stern gallery to view all the images and screenshots.
[edit | edit source]