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"Archer Vice: Smugglers' Blues" is the seventh episode of Season 5 and the fifty-sixth episode overall. It first aired on March 10, 2014.



Without Malory's knowledge or permission, Archer takes some of the cocaine to South America, dragging Cyril and Ray along.


Lana attempts to practice spoon-feeding her baby with Pam, before the duo are interrupted by Cherlene and Malory’s gripes about children. Malory notices several hundred pounds of cocaine missing, for which she initially blames Pam, though we learn that Archer, Ray and Cyril have actually taken the cocaine to Colombia in search of “La Madrina,” a cartel dealer who would likely buy most of their supply, if only they can find her.

Upon landing, the trio set out to a local tavern in search of intelligence on contacting La Madrina, as both Cyril and Ray realize that their current mission seems actually less morally ambiguous than their days at ISIS. Archer asks one of the bar patrons about La Madrina’s whereabouts, as the man suggests he can place a call to have a representative come meet them. Meanwhile, Krieger learns from social media that Ray and the others are in Colombia, informing a worried Malory of their intentions.

Hearing a truck pull up, Archer fakes being sick and drags the two into the bathroom, having realized that they’ve been sold out and that the paramilitary has arrived. The three sneak out the bathroom window, as Cyril is tasked with removing the enemy truck’s distributor cap before they speed off. A short while later, the group’s truck overheats, as the paramilitary forces catch up, Cyril having taken the washer fluid cap by mistake.

Archer is surprised to find the paramilitary lowering their weapons, before turning around to see the reason why; La Madrina and her forces have arrived, the beautiful buxom woman inviting Archer and his friends to negotiate back at her compound. On the way there, Archer blocks a call from a worried Malory with his latest voice mail prank, an elaborate recording of he and Ray fighting with added sound effects.

Archer and La Madrina flirt heavily as she confirms the cocaine’s purity, and accepts a deal with the group, before she and Archer head upstairs. The following morning, a tired-out Archer is astonished to learn that La Madrina is in fact a colonel in the Colombian National Police, acting as a deep undercover agent., She has the three taken away to be sent to prison. Archer laments only that he never got to meet the woman’s tiger, as Cyril points out that they’re likely to be killed in prison to protect La Madrina’s cover. Back in the states, Lana admits to actually worrying about the trio, as Malory tearfully asks her to retrieve her son from Colombia.


Cultural References[]

  • When Archer jumps through a window, he pays homage to Hal Needham, who was a stunt double for Burt Reynolds.
  • Archer mentions that his getting hit in the head with a fire extinguisher while taking over the controls of an airplane is exactly how Major League Baseball player Len Koenecke died.
  • The 1953 Iranian coup d'état, 1973 Chilean coup d'état, Guatemalan Civil War, Nicaraguan Revolution, and Soviet-Afghan War were mentioned by Archer when he was talking about the US Government allegedly doing evil deeds.
  • Archer tells La Madrina that he expected her to look like a Mexican or Colombian Mrs. Garrett. This might be a reference to the real life “La Madrina”, Griselda Blanco, who did look like a Colombian Mrs. Garrett.
  • Archer describes a Colombian necktie and sarcastically tells Cyril he is relieved he will not die without knowing what it is like to have one.
  • One of the members of the Cali Cartel is wearing a Phi Mu sorority T-shirt.
  • One of Woodhouse's single shell guns, used in the Burt Reynolds film "Gator" and loaned to Archer during "Pipeline Fever", was seen, and due to the nationality of its buyers suggests what form of payment Woodhouse received (heroin).
  • Archer says, "¿Quién es más macho?" This is a reference to a Saturday Night Live skit featuring Bill Murray.
  • Ray mentions that the Phi Mu Sorority at Marshall University is jokingly pronounced "Phi Moo," a joke about the sorority having a reputation for obesity.
  • While in the plane, Archer asks Cyril and Ray if there is a word for when something is both literally and figuratively true, while there is not a work for exactly this, the closest one would be "syllepsis."

Running Gags / Callbacks[]

  • Pamfiti - Pam's graffiti tag appears on the inside of the door to the back room of the Colombian bar.
  • Buckles - After the three run out the window of the bar in Colombia, the angry troop chief smacks one of the guys with his hat and then the latter asks "Ay, que tiene adentro? Hebillas?"which is Spanish for "What's in there, buckles?". This is a reference to Malory's repeated purse smackings which are followed up by the infamous question.
  • Phrasing - After Cyril runs to the jeep shouting "I'm coming as fast as I can" Archer's says "Guys, we really need to talk about getting phrasing back in the rotation."
  • Voicemail Prank - Archer employs another, but this time using Ray's voice mail greeting.
  • Wrecked phone - Malory after the voicemail hoax.
  • Just a moment - Archer, drinking and choking while conversing with La Madrina.
  • Ping Pong Paddle - Covering Archer's privates after he has sex with La Madrina.


  • Ray mentions the oil pipeline blown up during Once Bitten as an example of something bad done by ISIS.
  • Bryan makes his last appearance, sleeping on a park bench in front of Tunt Manor.


  • Title Explained: The title is in reference to the difficult time the trio experience trying to complete their mission. "Smuggler's Blues" is also the title of an episode of Miami Vice, an 1980's television show whose aesthetic is used in the advertising for Season 5.
  • Cyril correctly states that 100,000 Colombian pesos will exchange for roughly $50 US dollars (at the time of the episode's airing)[1].
  • The Colombian bar owner (who gives the order to call the paramilitarios) bears a striking resemblance to Danny Trejo.
  • The app on Krieger's phone called Snacklesnap is parody of Instagram, also incorporating one of the biggest uses of the app: people sharing photos of what they're eating.
  • On the part where Krieger is explaining Snacklesnap to Malory, it says on his phone screen that he commented on Ray's picture, "May I have the snake?"
  • The song that is playing in the background of the Colombian bar is "Gypsy Woman" by Cherlene.
  • La Madrina scares off the paramilitarios in a US M113 Armored Personnel Carrier with a .50 caliber M2 Browning machine gun mounted.
  • The cars at La Madrina's compound include a 1963 Ferrari 330 GTO, a Mercedes-Benz 300SL coupe, and a Lamborghini Countach LP400.
  • The aircraft is a Cessna 172 Skyhawk.



Malory: "Pam, you damned coke fiend!"
Lana: "Malory, stop!"
Malory: "I mean, did you used to be a man?"
Lana: "Pam?"
Pam: "I don't know. Did you?"
Lana: "Have you been stealing coke?"
Pam: "What? No! You think if I had 100 pounds of coke, I'd be sitting here playing choo-choo-spoon with a tranny?"
Lana: "Oh, for the-- I'm pregnant!"
Cherlene: "It said, baffling medical science. Ow!"


Lana, Pam, Cherlene: "Oh, you were serious?"


Krieger: "The whatever we are, gang who couldn't sell coke straight, doesn't even have cable." 
Malory: "But what about these?" 
Krieger: "They're all aimed inside the house." 
Malory: "Well what the hell good is that for?" 
Krieger: "Eh, I'm making about two grand a month on the GILF cam." 
Lana, Pam, Cherlene: "Ew."


Gallery of Images[]

There are 7 screenshots and images from "Archer Vice: Smugglers' Blues" on this Wiki, visit the category page for a complete gallery.

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External links[]