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"Archer Vice: House Call" is the fourth episode of Season 5 and the fifty-third episode overall. It first aired on February 3, 2014.



As the gang discusses their diminishing coke supply and sending Pam to rehab, an FBI agent knocks on the door.


Upon realizing that they have lost 6 million dollars worth of cocaine with no profits due to their bumbling, the group finally decides to address Pam's fairly serious cocaine addiction. Malory threatens to send Pam to rehab, and in turn, Pam (who has lost a lot of weight), threatens to go straight to the cops and turn them all in. Woodhouse then knocks her out with a frying pan, and the group restrains her.

Cheryl/Carol walks in, followed by Krieger who appears from a secret passage. Cheryl reveals that passages are another work of her grandfather. Krieger suggests using his new and improved mind control chip to fix Pam's addictive personality. Archer mentions the last chip's failure when used on Len Trexler, drawing Ron's interest which Malory tries to wave off. Pam wakes up and is enraged upon hearing their plans to implant the chip in her brain. Malory suggests using the chip to cure Cheryl's stage fright, but Cheryl rejects the idea. Malory begins to insist, but Pam breaks loose, snatches Cheryl, and disappears into the tunnel Krieger initially emerged from.

They prepare to hunt Pam down with tranquilizers however Agent Holly unexpectedly arrives to check in on them, mentioning cocaine and the Yakuza shootout (from the previous episode[1]). They deny any unlawful actions and come up with various reasons as to why Ron is in a hospital bed.

Ray screams upstairs, Holly, mistaking him for a woman runs off to investigate. The agents and Krieger pursue to prevent him from finding the cocaine. Upstairs Pam and Cheryl, have emerged from a wall and comes across an emotionally broken Ray (and scaring him into screaming) and berating him, before leaving. Holly busts into the room, only to have Ray drunkenly hurl empty liquor bottles and insults at him. Lana heads down to the kitchen, to prevent Agent Holly from finding the cocaine locked in the pantry.

Lana debates whether to turn the others in in exchange for her own immunity and placement in witness protection. Archer comes in and they tease each other. He then admits his concern and tells her to run away, while she still has a chance. This cheers Lana up, and they banter for a moment. However Holly shows up outside the door to the kitchen. Archer dicks around for a minute, then Lana beats him.

Beginning to lose steam, Pam nearly drops Cheryl, who tells her how to get to the kitchen for more cocaine.

Ron begins to walk out of the house, and on Malory, saying that he'll send her her things.

Back at the kitchen, Holly is about to enter the pantry and find the cocaine when the wall spins around revealing Krieger and Cyril and hiding the cocaine. The coke is now hidden, however Pam finds and begins eating it on the other side of the wall. Archer gets the wall to rotate, revealing Pam and Cheryl. They tranquilizer Pam and Cheryl (by accident), and they both go down. Archer and Lana send them back through the wall hiding the evidence, and confront Holly when he finally makes it through the door. With no evidence Holly finally agrees to leave, but warns that he'll be watching them.

Alone with Cyril, Krieger reveals that he only has one mind control chip, and they must choose between fixing Pam or Cheryl's personalities. Krieger suggests they flip a coin, but Cyril says no.

Back in the main work room, Lana suggests that Holly was right about their having lots of international connections, Archer says he will make a few trips, and Malory mulls over selling out to an international cartel. She then asks Krieger about the brain chip implant; Pam sitting unconscious on the couch. He says he thinks it was successful, since she is not dead, but they will have to wait and see if there are any adverse side effects.

At this point, a yawning Cheryl, dressed in her stage outfit with a guitar walks in, now going by the name of "Cherlene".

Krieger suggests that it looks like they needn't have worried.


Cultural References[]

  • Doctor Who:  After Malory unintentionally completes the official name of Britain's currency, Archer refers to "Pounds Sterling" as 'Doctor Who' money.
  • The French Connection: About the suggestion of locking Pam in a cage, Archer remarks, "Hey, yeah, sweat it out, like Popeye Doyle." This is a reference to the character from the French Connection movie. In the fictional sequel, NYPD Detective Doyle tracks the French drug dealer back to Marseille. There he is captured by the dealer's thugs and becomes addicted to heroin. Doyle breaks his addiction by going 'cold turkey' while locked in a police holding cell. The person who buys the dry cleaners below ISIS HQ, a former pimp, is also named Popeye.
  • Cookie Puss is an ice cream cake character created by Carvel in the 1970s.
  • A Habitrail is a series of translucent plastic tubes and 'houses' for small pets, such as mice or hamsters.
  • Scooby-Doo: mentioned by Archer when he makes the pantry wall rotate.
    • Cheryl is also wearing an outfit that resembles Velma's outfit from Scooby Doo.
  • The Hunchback of Notre-Dame (1831):  When Pam kidnaps Cheryl and is carrying her around the manor, Cheryl feels like she's playing Esméralda to Pam's Quasimodo from the classic novel by Victor Hugo.
  • Minitel (1978-2012):  Archer bought a Minitel terminal so he can use the "internet" at home, only to discover that it does not connect to the World Wide Web and it works only in France. This can also be seen as a callback to the season 2 premiere Swiss Miss, when he sarcastically responded to Conrad Schlotz's involvement in Videotex, saying "Wow, growth industry".
  • The Incredible Hulk: Archer compares Pam's strength to that of The Hulk, stating she may as well be "green and half-deaf" referencing Hulk's portrayal in the 1978 TV series by body builder Lou Ferrigno. Furthermore, the purple pants that Pam is wearing, with the bottoms of the pant legs torn off, are also characteristic of The Hulk.
  • Thomas Corwin Mendenhall:  Malory, after converting 5 lbs of cocaine to 2.27 kg, asks if Lana was Mendenhall, who was an advocate for the adoption of the metric system by the United States.
  • Stuart Freeborn / Yoda / Star Wars:  Agent Holly calls Woodhouse "Yoda's Dad", AKA Stuart Freeborn, the English motion picture make-up artist most known for designing Yoda for the original Star Wars trilogy.
  • Partnership for a Drug-Free America:  Archer's response ("I learned it by watching you!") to Malory's scolding him over eating the cocaine/yogurt is a reference to the 80's anti-drug public service announcement "Parents Who Use Drugs".
  • This Is Your Brain On Drugs: (1987):  Pam being hit over the head with a frying pan (with 2 fried eggs still in the pan) by Woodhouse is a not-so-subtle reference to the iconic anti-narcotics campaign run by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. It is worth noting that the campaign received millions of dollars in donations from major pharmaceutical, alcohol and tobacco companies, and was hilariously mocked by the late, great Bill Hicks here
  • At the end Krieger says, "Yep, yep, yep". This is a catchphrase.Ducky from The Land Before Time often used.
  • The Lord of the Rings: Yet another door-made-of-Mithril quip.

Running Gags / Callbacks[]

  • Phrasing averted, with Archer asking for the first time - "Question: are we not saying phrasing anymore?"
    • His desire to find a replacement phrase that would perform the same function is demonstrated with the line: "That's fine - whatever - but if we're doing a new thing and nobody told me, that I'd have a problem with!"
  • Just a moment: Archer holds a finger up as yet another "phrasing" opportunity passes by.
  • Lana? Lana. LANAAAAA!


  • Archer says, "Said Ripley to the Android Bishop" this is used in multiple episode by various main characters. This is a reference to the Ridley Scott Alien films.
  • This episode marks the first mention of Len Trexler since his last appearance in A Going Concern (s2e2).
  • Agent Holly says, "What's this door made out of? Mithril?" Mithril was referred to in Diversity Hire, and in Space Race: Part II.
  • It is revealed that the CPU in Ray's legs is actually fixable as Krieger told Cyril "Remind me to reboot the CPU in Ray's legs later."
  • Despite Archer claiming that he knew none of the different kinds of porn several times in this episode, in the previous episode, he listed tentacle porn as one of the aspects of Japanese culture with which he is familiar. However, this could be because he had heard Krieger talk about it several times before in previous seasons.
  • When Woodhouse is hit with a tranquilizer he say's "hello my old friend" referencing his drug addiction.
  • Malory and Ron separate in this episode, with Ron announcing his intention to keep her apartment (which she had put in his name to protect it from being seized by the FBI).
  • This episode marks the start of Cheryl going by the name of Cherlene.


  • Title Explained: A 'house call' is a visit to the home of a patient or client by a doctor or other professional. This refers to Agent Holly's visit to the Tunt Mansion made even more appropriate by a recuperating Ron's presence.
  • Woodhouse uses the term “grass”. This is UK slang for snitch or informer.
  • The abbreviation for Kentucky is KY, hence "Kentucky Jelly" = K-Y Jelly.
  • It seems tranquilizer darts have no effect on Malory. This is similar to Archer's liver being able to break down tranquilizers at an alarmingly quick rate[2]."
  • Krieger tries to explain Ron's condition to Agent Holly by claiming that Ron has progeria and that he's "just a little boy."



Archer: "Holy shit, yogurt is amazing! Why have I never tried yogurt?!"
Lana: "How have you never tried yogurt?"
Archer: "I didn't know it was that good."
Malory: "It's good because it's cocaine!"
Archer: "Oh my God. And little kids eat it?


Lana: "That's tight enough! We're not making tit-bondage porn!"
Archer: "That's a thing?"
Cyril: "Oh yeah."
Malory: "Ugh!"
Archer: "Ditto. I just don't want her to escape, you know how strong she is. Might as well be green and half-deaf."


Cheryl: "I think that's why the colored maids never felt safe. They'd be polishing a spittoon or whatever, and suddenly...Grandpa!"
(Everyone gasps)
Cheryl: "Yeah, and dressed up like a ghost!"
Lana: "What is it with your family wearing ghost costumes to scare black people?"
Cheryl: "What is it with you people making tit-bondage pornos in my ancestral home?!"


Malory: "But you could be famous!"
Cheryl: "I could be lettuce!"


Cheryl: "This is only slightly like what the old gypsy woman said!"


Lana: "What?! God shit damn it Archer! What?!"


Archer: "Because I have sex with actual women Cyril! My girlfriend isn't equal parts the internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing, and a sock!"


Archer: "Lana, look at all that coke! Twenty years is just gonna be the bacon bits on our prison salad."


Agent Holly: "Because I'll be watching you. Like a hawk. That's been bred with an eagle. To make some sort of eagle-eyed super-hawk. With a badge."


Cherlene: "And if somebody don't fry me six goddamn eggs and some Carolina fries, I would personally be shocked, shocked I tell you, if by mornin' this place ain't burnt to the ground."

Gallery of Images[]

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