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"Archer Vice: Arrival/Departure" is the season finale of Season 5 and the sixty-second episode overall. It first aired on April 21, 2014.



While Lana is trying to give birth to her baby, it turns out that the whole "cocaine-case" was a secret agreement between Malory and the CIA.


With everyone still in shock over the announcement that Lana's water has just broken, Agent Holly wants to know what the former ISIS crew's doing in San Marcos.  Archer and Lana tell him they were there selling the weapons they got from Slater to Calderon. Then they also inform him that Calderon has a nerve gas missile, and they can't stop the launch, so Holly has Slater begin Operation Dropkick, a plan which involves the CIA launching an all-out invasion against Calderon's forces. When Lana asks why the CIA was selling weapons to Calderon, to begin with, Holly tells her that it was part of a plan to increase the agency's annual budget, by involving buying weapons from Iran (or Iraq, or whatever it's called) and selling them to Calderon. But being that they only had cocaine instead of cash, they needed someone to sell it. Archer and Lana finally realize they have been trying to sell the CIA's drugs. When Holly claims that Archer was in on the plan from the start, Lana furiously chokes Archer, much to Cherlene's delight. When Holly plans to take them to a black site, Lana quickly disarms a couple of guards, and captures Holly and Slater, and says, "Now then...let's get this baby out of me."

Meanwhile, Ray, and a still concussed Krieger inform Cyril that they're still trying to disarm the missile. When Malory suggests that they have to leave, Cyril refuses, stating that he's still president for life. However, he quickly changes his mind, when he learns that not only is a US air strike is headed inbound, but his first lady Juliana is cheating on him. Malory orders Pam and Cyril to loot what they can before leaving. When Juliana objects, Malory states that her regime is finished and that she's seen enough coups to know that things won't end well for her.

Back at the airport, Lana is having increased contractions. Realizing that the air strike will begin shortly, Archer sends Cherlene to prep Calderon's jet for takeoff, taking along Holly and Slater as her captives.

Meanwhile at the missile site, with only 6 minutes left to launch, Krieger tells Ray that aside from the nerve gas, the missile itself is basically harmless. The both of them come up with a makeshift plan...

Back at the palace, Cyril, Malory and Pam, all wearing expensive furs and carrying stolen swag, take one of Calderon's cars. and head to the airport, almost hitting Krieger and Ray, who're carrying the nerve gas canister from the missile.  As the missile launches, the rest of the gang continue to the airport, just as the air strike arrives and destroys the palace.

When they arrive at the airport, Malory takes charge, throwing Archer out of Holly's office. While she's reassuring Lana, Pam assists in helping Lana give birth to her baby. While Cyril, Ray, and Krieger discuss who had what in the sperm donor pool, Archer admits that he can't help Lana. A few minutes later, the cries of a newborn baby are heard, then Archer punches Cyril in the face with excitement. Then Pam announces that it's a girl, and that, "Whoever had black guy, pay up!  Yep, got ourselves a little quadroon!"

Aboard the jet, as Lana's holding her baby, Malory congratulates her on the birth, telling her "You did good, Kiddo." Lana says that she's quiting, because she's used to Malory lying to her, but not Archer.  Malory reassures her that Archer had no idea she made a deal with the CIA, and reminds her that for as long as Lana has known her, she has never been honest with her son. Malory then informs Archer that Lana and the baby are fine.

Cherlene asks if Krieger can put a chip in Pam's brain to help her with her cocaine problem as he did with her so she could sing. Krieger informs the gang that he never really put in a microchip, but instead, it was merely a sticker from the backpack of a LEGO spaceman.

Meanwhile, Agent Holly is furious with Malory that the CIA lost $50 million worth of cocaine, thanks to her, and the gang. Malory gives him the painting she looted worth $40 million and states that between that and the nerve gas, he could get a promotion, allowing him to contract work to ISIS and repair her offices. When Holly rejects the idea, Malory tells him that she'll take her offer to Slater, "Because you suddenly decided to take up skydiving," and pulls a gun on him. Holly answers with, "I think we may have a deal here."

Archer check in on Lana, who is nursing the baby.  She tells him that the night before his cancer operation, he drunkenly told her Malory convinced him to freeze his sperm in case something happened to him.  As she also tells him that she still loves him, Archer's tinnitus briefly acts up. When it stops, he asks the baby what's Lana saying repeatedly.  After the third time, the baby holds up her finger, as if saying, "just a minute" Archer does. Then he lets out a shocked "meep", realizing what's happening.  Lana than says, "Sterling Archer, I'd like you to meet your daughter, Abbiejean."


Cultural References[]

  • Iran-Contra Affair:  It is revealed that the entirety of Archer Vice has in fact been a deep undercover mission to aid the CIA in depleting its annual budget by monetizing San Marcos' cocaine supply.  The scheme shares many of the same elements as this real-life scandal.
  • Dr. Strangelove (1964):  Operation Dropkick is the codename of Attack Plan R from Dr. Strangelove. The plan involved the B-52 bomber wing to move in and strike primary and secondary targets in Russia.
  • BeethovenFür Elise (1810): playing in the background when Juliana tells the army officer that she never loved him.[1]
  • First Blood (1982):  When Cyril realizes that the war (and his tryst with Juliana) is over, he responds by quoting Rambo's speech from when he was surrounded at the police station in the movie.
  • Merkava MkIII:  just before Cyril quotes the First Blood speech, the tabletop tank models appear to be inexplicably well-detailed miniature tanks. The MkIII tank was first produced in 1989.
  • US Navy: the airmen wear "Tomcat" arm badges and VF-1 unit patches, referencing Top Gun, and the real-life US Navy F-14 fighter squadron it featured, VF-1.
  • A Day No Pigs Would Die (1972): a novel by Robert Newton Peck.
  • Edmund Burke (disputed):  "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - although Krieger attributes this quote to Burke, the originator of said quote is disputed, bearing close relation to similar quotes by J.S.Mill, Albert Einstein, and even Plato.[2]  (Given the number of tokens (types) and extent of time over which this trope (specific idea) has been expressed (2000 years), it is of little significance who stated it first as the idea itself seems to be timeless).
  • Bishop score:  Archer has done training as a doula (birth companion) and also knows about the this pre-labor scoring system, also called a  'cervix score'.

Running Gags / Callbacks[]

  • Multiple Slapping - Once is never enough.
  • Eating coke - Pam graduates to eating raw coca leaves.
  • Idiot! - Malory's preferred insult.
  • Phrasing (or not?) - No one knows anymore.
  • (Not) Dr. Krieger - A reminder not to get any medical advice from Krieger: he's not any kind of doctor.
  • Memory/Identity - The more Krieger appears to forget the more he seems to be a different clone.
  • Just a Moment: Abbiejean holds up a finger while drinking breastmilk. Yep, she's Archer’s kid, alright.


  • This episode takes place immediately following the previous episode, Archer Vice: Filibuster (s5e12).
  • This episode takes place eight months after Sea Tunt: Part II (s4e13).
  • After 3 weeks in a jail cell under Calderon's palace, Archer's beard and hair grow to resemble his disheveled appearance in the Heart of Archness (Trilogy).
    • In another nod to the beginning of season 3 and Archer's first foray into serialisation, there is a print of a Grumman Goose seaplane - identical to the one flown by Rip Riley in those episodes and Archer's own Loose Goose in season 9: Danger Island Photo Ref ) - on the wall in the airport office.


  • Title Explained: In most airports, the status of various flights is recorded on a board marked Arrival/Departure for the convenience of passengers. The title is a double entendre making reference this and also the 'arrival' of Abbiejean juxtaposed with the 'departure' of ISIS from South America (possibly as well as the contrast between birth and death, both of which occur in this episode).
  • It is revealed that the entirety of Archer Vice has in fact been a deep undercover mission to aid the CIA in depleting its annual budget by monetizing San Marcos' cocaine supply, with only Malory and Agent Holly aware of the truth, presumably having made the deal during their negotiating back in White Elephant.
  • The US Navy airmen wear "Tomcat" arm badges and VF-1 unit patches, referencing Top Gun, and the real-life US Navy F-14 fighter squadron it featured, VF-1. However, they were flying A-6E TRAM attack aircraft with VA-115 squadron markings and 'NF' tailcode. In addition, the 'ordnance' they were shown releasing were actually fuel drop tanks.
  • Lana gives birth to a girl she names Abbiejean, revealed to be Archer's daughter through the sperm he had frozen during "Stage Two" and "Placebo Effect". It is also revealed that during the former episode, Archer and Lana did not have sex as previously implied.
  • This is the first season finale since "Double Trouble" that Ray has not ended up paralyzed in any way.
  • Malory blackmails Holly into reopening ISIS, but this time under the CIA's payroll to avoid illegal activities, leading ISIS to be officially re-established.
  • The quote attributed to Edmund Burke is disputed.  However, given the number of tokens (types) and extent of time over which this trope (specific idea) has been expressed (2000 years), it is of little significance who stated it first as the idea itself seems to be timeless).
  • It is revealed that Krieger never installed a mind control microchip into Cherlene's head. Instead he placed a sticker inside of her brain.
  • When Slater phones in to begin "Operation Dropkick", the planned invasion of San Marco, he is talking to someone called "Donna". This might be a subtle reference to the Aaron Sorkin political drama, The West Wing. During season four, Christian Slater - who voices Slater - played the character of Jack Reese, a naval submarine officer assigned to the White House. During his time there, he engages in a relationship with the assistant to the Deputy Chief of Staff, Donna Moss.


First Appearances[]

Characters (in order of appearance)[]


Holly: "Come on, even if you people hadn't lost 50 million bucks worth of our cocaine, you know way too much."
Charlene: "Uh, I don't know anything!"
Holly: "I believe that to be literally true."


Malory: "Oh yes we are, and if you've got any sense, you'll fill your pockets too! Because your regime is officially over. And I've seen coups from Angola to Zanzibar, and this is how it ends: in the trunk of a taxi to the airport your belly full of diamonds and vodka, praying your driver doesn't rat you out to the Reds at the last checkpoint because then, the last thing you'll ever hear besides a pistol cocking behind your head, is Ivan's laugh-"
Pam: *laughing*
Malory: "What... in the name of god is funny?!"
Pam: "You said you've seen cooze." *clears throat* "Appropes." 


Charlene: "Aww... All the gardeners are running away."


Charlene: "What's wrong with her?"
Archer: "Wha?! She's having a baby!"
Charlene: "Gross." 


Charlene: "What?"
(Lana knocks the cup out of Cherlene's hands)
Charlene: "Jesus! What is your problem?"
Lana: "Morphine, Want! Find! Give!"
Archer: "Shhh... Come on Lana you don't need that."
Lana: "How dare you tell me what I..."
Archer: "Shut Up! Okay, Carol, I need you to look down there and give me a sit-rep."
Charlene: "Down where?"
Archer: "There, down there, at her um..."
Charlene: "Ew! No! You do it!"
Slater: "I'll do it!"
Archer: (To Slater) "Shut up! I can't look down there because there's, like, a hundred percent chance that at some point in the future we're gonna have sex so..."
Lana: "Who?"
Archer: "Shh... so just look down there and..."
Charlene: "I'm not looking at her goddamn va-Joinks! Well you don't need to shave *Laughs* that thing is smooth."
Lana: "I.... Thank you."
Charlene: "And also kind of mauve."
Lana: "Huh... Okay."
Slater: "I'd say more of a mauve-taupe."


Co-Pilot Mike: "Hey is your dad still big into tapas?"
Pilot: "My what? Oh, no, that wasn't my dad."
Co-Pilot Mike: "Well who was it?"
Pilot: "Doesn't matter who."


Pam: "Because these trunks feel light. Do you swear they're full of cocaine?"
Malory: "As God... is my witness."
Pam: "Psh! God hates you. Open 'em up." 
Malory: "Wha?"
Cyril: "Will you two come on?!" 
Pam: "On what?"
Malory: "Ugh!" 
Cyril: "Do you hear that?"
Malory: "If we get out of here alive, I'll buy you all new cocaine. And a pony!" 
Pam: "You heard her, Cyril-- that is legally binding."


Charlene: "Private me, reporting for sploosh." 


Pam: "Psh! You know how many times I've helped a cow give birth in the barn? Plus, one time, my sister Edie? Well, she couldn't have it in the house. Long story. A long, racist story."


Malory: "Lana Kane, you have known me for a long, long time. When have I ever been honest with Sterling?"
Lana: "Huh."


Malory: "I told her you didn't know anything about the CIA deal."
Archer: "Well thanks for telling the truth Mother-- sure, that was hard for you."
Malory: "You keep it up, mister, and I'll walk right back in there and tell her the whole thing was your idea."
Archer: "Did you guys hear that?"
Charlene, Pam, Cyril, Krieger: "No."
Archer: "Dicks."


Charlene: "Whoa. So my whole life, all I ever had to do was believe in myself? And inject a sticker into my brain?"


Archer: Baby, what is she saying? Baby? Baby? Baby! *the baby puts up a finger as to say "just a mintune" like Archer and he goes into shock* M-Meep Meep."
Lana: "Sterling Archer I'd like you to meet your daughter, Abbiejean."

Gallery of Images[]

There are 8 screenshots and images from "Archer Vice: Arrival/Departure" on this Wiki, visit the category page for a complete gallery.

External links[]


  1. Für Elise - Beethoven (
  2. Edmund Burke (