- "Name a handsome Hollywood power-lawyer who is having major second thoughts about hiring you people."
"Mr. Shapiro!"
"Boom! Square gets the square."- —Alan Shapiro and Cyril Figgis[src]
Alan Shapiro is a lawyer and divorce attorney, who mostly worked for Veronica Deane. His voice is provided by Patton Oswalt.
Biography[]
Season 7[]
"The Figgis Agency"[]
Alan stole a disc containing "sensitive information" about Veronica Deane. An imposter of Veronica Deane went to the Figgis Agency and offered them $100,000 to retrieve the disc.
During the break-in at Shapiro's mansion, Figgis Agency member Sterling Archer was attacked by the guard dogs. However, Figgis Agency members Lana Kane and Ray Gillette managed to subdue the dogs using dog treats laced with tranquilizers, which were developed by Dr. Algernop Krieger and affectionately named "hush puppies". Archer falls off the side of the mansion.
Once back on the mansion, Archer began to leave a blood trail from his wounded arm. It was then that Alan Shapiro noticed the three and shouted for his guards to get rid of them. As the three Figgis Agency members began to get away, Shapiro promised them that, if the three lived, the guards would die. However, the three got away unscathed, managing to retrieve the disc.
"The Handoff"[]
- "You the Jew lawyer?"
"Yes, yes. I believe we spoke on the phone."
"You got the money?"
"Yes. $2 million in bearer bonds, as per our verbal agreement."- —A biker and Alan Shapiro[src]
After Alan fired the guards, he found out that his dogs were poisoned. The "hush puppies" gave the dogs diarrhea, and he forced his maids to clean it all up on threat of deportation. When the real Veronica Deane went to the Figgis Agency and explained that the disc containing "sensitive information" about her was stolen from Shapiro, Archer and Lana returned to Shapiro's place, where he revealed that he did not know who had broken into his mansion, since it was pitch-black and they were wearing infrared goggles. After Archer almost accidentally reveals that they stole the disc, Shapiro decides to attack the people that currently have the disc.
Shapiro plans for Lana (who is pretending to be his chauffeur) and Archer (who is hiding in the trunk) to ambush the biker gang who currently have the disc. However, when it is revealed that the suitcase full of "money" that Shapiro had brought was full of Figgis Agency posters, Shapiro and Lana were taken hostage and handcuffed to a pipe. Archer was found out when his mother tried to call him and his phone went off while he was still in the trunk.
While they were handcuffed together, Shapiro revealed to Lana that the reason he didn't put the money in the briefcase was that neither he nor Veronica Deane could pay the full amount, and that he was in love with Deane. A naked Archer finds his way to Lana and Shapiro after killing several of the bikers. After Archer reveals that they were the ones that stole the disc, Shapiro tries to attack him, but Archer hits him over the head with a shovel.
All seems hopeless when two of the surviving bikers come to collect their share of the $2 million, which is $200,000. Shapiro tells them that he has a cashier's check for that exact amount in his pants. When the head biker tries to collect it, Malory Archer points a gun at his head. Lana and Shapiro are freed, and the two bikers are chained up on the pipe. Shapiro tells the Figgis Agency that he will recommend them to any of his Hollywood contacts that might need PI work.
"Deadly Prep"[]
After Lana tries to get a recommendation letter for Abbiejean Kane-Archer to go to private school, she ends up getting arrested. While visiting with Lana, Archer mentioned that Shapiro was working on her bail.
"Bel Panto: Part I"[]
Shapiro approached the Figgis Agency, wanting them to guard a priceless necklace, the Tsarina, that is going to be worn by Veronica Deane at a fundraiser for the American Tinnitus Association at her ex-husband Ellis Crane's mansion. He promised to pay them $50,000, and they accepted. Shapiro told them that the job would be enjoyable for five-eighths of the crew.
At the fundraiser, the eight Figgis Agents gathered in a clump to talk. After Archer ate some food from the trays of Pam, Cyril, and Ray (who were disguised as lowly waiters), he sarcastically said that he was going to go protect some priceless emeralds (when, in reality, he was going to have sex with Veronica Deane); Shapiro sarcastically asked him if Archer was going to go do the job that Shapiro was paying him a fortune to do, and Archer said that he might as well do so, since he was already present. Shapiro was angry that the seven Figgis Agents were in a clump. He was seen repeatedly reminding them to "un-clump" over the course of the fundraiser.
A gang of clowns, led by Mr. Rompers, attacked the fundraiser and took everyone present hostage, intending to steal the Tsarina. When Mr. Rompers kicked one of the hostages in the face, Shapiro asked him if he was insane; Mr. Rompers said that he probably was before punching Shapiro in the eye, knocking him unconscious.
When he awoke five hours later (which Shapiro noted wasn't good for him), Pam and Cheryl explained that someone called the cops, so Mr. Rompers let all of the hostages (with the exception of "the core group") go unharmed. Pam also explains that Cheryl has a crush on Mr. Rompers, and will be "Mrs. Rompers" if they don't get murdered.
"Bel Panto: Part II"[]
"Deadly Velvet: Part I"[]
"Deadly Velvet: Part II"[]
Personality[]
- "They live, you die!"
- —Alan Shapiro[src]
Alan Shapiro is a slightly demanding individual. He threatens to kill his guards if the three Figgis Agents who broke into his home got away. Also, after his dogs got sick, he forced his maids to work through the night cleaning his home under the threat of deportation despite having known them for years. The former threat was motivated partly by stress, but also out of his concern for protecting the reputation of Veronica Deane, whom he's hopelessly in love with. Shapiro is also a bit of a flirt, as evidenced by his repeated interactions with Lana.
Shapiro is somewhat inept. He also grunts whenever he pulls the trigger on his gun, and also fires exceptionally slow compared to his guards. Additionally, he's given his client Veronica Deane terrible investment advice, and utterly bungled the handoff for the "Longwater" disk.
Trivia[]
- Alan Shapiro's character design is modeled after his voice actor, Patton Oswalt.
- In the episode, The Handoff, when Lana revealed that she and Archer had a child, he turned away in disgust before saying "aww" when Lana looked back at him with an annoyed expression on her face. It is possible that this means Shapiro despises children, or infants at least. It is unlikely that it is because their child is biracial, given his obvious attraction to Lana, who is black.
Appearances[]
| Appearances for Alan Shapiro |
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Gallery of Images[]
There are 14 images of Alan Shapiro on this Wiki, visit the Alan Shapiro gallery to view all the images and screenshots.